


Momoi and Aomine's Deep and Insightful Conversation Regarding Kuroko

by iwasabutt



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Fluff, Lame attempt at humor, M/M, light and somewhat comical angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 10:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11575902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwasabutt/pseuds/iwasabutt
Summary: Momoi asks Kuroko out. Kuroko respectfully declines, informing Momoi that he already likes someone else. And somehow, that leads to Momoi happily crashing Aomine's house, distracting him from agonizing over his feelings for his former shadow.





	Momoi and Aomine's Deep and Insightful Conversation Regarding Kuroko

**Author's Note:**

> This is AoKuro, although most of the story is pretty much just Aomine and Momoi arguing with Aomine exhibiting an advanced form of tsundere that could rival Midorima.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

 

_oi tetsu wana shoot sum hoops_

The message was immediately erased.

_tetsu lets grab milkshakes @ Maji my treat_

No good. Delete, delete.

_hav u seen mai-chan i coulda have left her ther last tym I was killing bakagami in bball_

Aomine glanced at the stack of Mai-chan photobooks lodged under some sweaty basketball shorts.

"Maybe proper grammar and punctuation would do you some good, Dai-chan," a cheerful voice advised.

Aomine shook his head. "No, he'd think I'm some nerd like Midor—OI, WAIT A MINUTE!"

Momoi smiled at him, her eyes crinkling at the corners. She was perched prettily on the cleanest patch of floor she was able to find, and the area surrounding her—clothes folded with impeccable crispness that was way more than his holey sweatshirt was worthy of, decades-old homework neatly stacked into fossilized textbooks—stuck out like a patch of green pasture in a field of dead grass. "Yes?"

"When, and how the fuck did you even get here, Satsuki?"

"Front door was unlocked again, Dai-chan. Honestly! One of these days, someone might just walk in and kill you!"

The fact that she said all of this with her usual toothy grin did little to reassure Aomine. "What do you want?"

"Well…" She looked at him thoughtfully. "I was kind of upset because I asked Tetsu-kun out and then he turned me down—gently, of course, you know how nice Tetsu-kun is—but then, I didn't really get why he wouldn't want to date me."

"I don't get why  _anyone_ would want to date you," Aomine muttered.

Momoi smacked him. "Quiet, Dai-chan. Anyway, Tetsu-kun told me the  _weirdest_ thing."

" _Why don't you want to date me?" a despairing Momoi asked the blank-faced Kuroko._

" _People have different types, don't they, Momoi-san?" Kuroko said, smiling slightly. "Honestly, you are one of the kindest people I have ever met, and your intelligence is beyond compare. However, my affections lie…elsewhere, as of the moment."_

" _Else…where?" Momoi furrowed her brows before her face lit up with a realization. "You like someone else!"_

_Kuroko stared at her bright smile. "Well, yes, but—"_

" _Then don't worry about me, Tetsu-kun!" Momoi said firmly, grasping his hand in hers. "You're one of my best friends, and you're definitely the nicest person in that said group of best friends, although that isn't saying much, considering Dai-chan and Midorin also happen to be part of that group. But! Because you're my friend, I only want you to be happy, Tetsu-kun."_

" _Momoi-san…" Touched, Kuroko squeezed her hand gently. "Thank you."_

" _Buuuut," she said, waggling her eyebrows in mischief, "you_ have _to tell me who it is!"_

" _I don't see why that's necessa—"_

" _So I could help you, of course! Knowing people, understanding how their minds work—that's my specialty!"_

"… _In basketball, yes, I wholeheartedly agree. But—"_

" _Tetsu-_ kun _." Momoi looked at him with a pout. "You already rejected my feelings, the least you could do is let me help you get Mr. Right!"_

" _Well…" He gave her a resigned smile. "Alright, I suppose. I know I can trust you, after all. But, how did you know—"_

"— _that you like a boy? I'm right, aren't I? That just proves my brilliance at this sort of thing." She tapped her head proudly._

_Kuroko squinted at her. "Are you sure that this assumption didn't stem from the egoistic theory that, since a boy refused a conventionally attractive girl like yourself, he must, in fact, be a homosexual?"_

" _Why are you talking like Midorin? Of course not! I just happened to_ know,  _that's all."_

"Yeah, that's definitely what you thought, Satsuki," Aomine interrupted, feigning disinterest as he rolled a worn out basketball between his palms.

Despite himself, however, he  _was_  interested _._ Tetsu liked some guy? Who the hell did he have to beat up now? If it was Kagami  _his_ Tetsu liked, then,  _ohhh boy_ , the things he'd do to that bastard's four-eyebrow-encrusted face—

"Quiet, Dai-chan! Not  _everyone_ is as egotistical as you are. Anyway, will you let me finish?"

" _Momoi-san, I appreciate your offer," Kuroko said, a miniscule but sincere smile gracing his lips. "How do you intend to help me?"_

" _First, you have to tell me what sort of guy he is. Now, I'm guessing…he's arrogant, selfish, and a total disgrace of a human being."_

_Kuroko raised an eyebrow ever so slightly. "Momoi-san, are you really okay with this?"_

" _I only want the best for Tetsu-kun!" she chirped. "So if this_ complete and utter waste of humanly existence  _were to_  break your heart _, Tetsu-kun…"_

_Kuroko patted her shoulder comfortingly. "If Momoi-san needs some time to compose herself in light of the recent rejection, I would understand."_

" _I am not upset," she snapped uncharacteristically._

_Kuroko gave one of his grins, which were like face twitches more than anything. "I never said you were."_

_Momoi sighed. She smiled at him, a thin and somewhat brittle smile. "Yes, I'm a bit…sad. I mean, I love you, Tetsu-kun. But I wasn't lying when I said I'd help you get the guy. If anything, I'm helping you_ because  _I love you and not_ despite  _it."_

"Whoa," Aomine muttered under his breath. "You are  _so_  corny, Satsuki. Did you rip that line off from one of those shitty romance novels you usually read? Anyway, this flashback of yours is taking too long," he complained. "Did Tetsu ever tell you who this fucker is?" He made a mental inventory of all the power tools in their family's garage.  _Chainsaw, nail gun, hammer…probably the lawnmower, too…_ He took great pleasure in imagining the lawnmower hacking Kagami's dumb eyebrows off like weeds in a garden.

Momoi looked at him knowingly, which made Aomine want to bury her under that mound of dirty laundry with suspicious-looking stains and an even more suspicious smell. "Well, he confirmed my suspicions," she said slowly. "He likes an arrogant, selfish, total disgrace of a human being."

Aomine was pretty sure that a vein exploded in his right eye. "SATSUKI!" he roared. "Why did you encourage him? Why the fuck did you think that it was a good idea to help Tetsu get into that Kagami asshole's pants?!"

"Now, now, Dai-chan," Momoi said soothingly. "Why exactly are you so bothered?"

"Because Tetsu's my best friend! Way more than you are!"

"So mean, Dai-chan!" Momoi looked up at him with big eyes, her lip trembling.

Aomine paused, the long run of their friendship flashing before his eyes. It was sort of  _way_ too long, if you asked him, but one look at Satsuki's stupid weepy face was enough to make him crumble like a moldy piecrust. "Okay, okay," he amended. "You're my best friend, Satsuki."

Immediately, she brightened. "In the whole world?"

"In the whole world."

"If you had to pick between Imayoshi-senpai or me, who would you choose?"

He gave her an  _are-you-stupid_  look. "You, of course. I'd pick you over a thousand Imayoshi-senpais. Imayoshi-senpai is one creepy motherfucker."

"How about over Mukkun?"

"What the—Satsuki!"

"I guess…you'd pick Mukkun, huh?" she said, biting her lip.

"Who the actual fuck would pick Mukkun—I mean, Murasakibara?!"

"What…about…" Momoi deliberately dragged her words, "…Akashi-kun? If there was a fire, would you save him, or your dearest bestie?"

Aomine felt a cold iron blanket of terror slam into his face, before squaring his shoulders. He was Aomine Daiki—he wasn't afraid of anything, least of all his former captain who was nearly a head shorter than he was. Still, a good part of his body would probably have to resist the knee-jerk reaction of chucking his "dearest bestie" to the flames if Akashi so much as blinked.

"You, of course," he choked out.

Aomine half-expected Akashi to come crawling up his windows, fully equipped with his sharpened scissors and a deceptively charismatic voice.

"So you'd leave poor Akashi-kun in the fire?" she prompted.

Aomine gritted his teeth. "Yes, I'd leave poor Akashi-kun in the fire," he spat. And, for good measure, he added, "Fuck that guy, he's not even scary. And he's practically Tetsu's height!"

"Well, then." Momoi seemed pleased with him, which he figured was a good sign. (He was wrong.) "Speaking of Tetsu-kun"—and then Aomine began to feel the dread crawling up his spine—"how do you feel about him?"

"…The hell?"  _Play dumb, play dumb, play dumb._

"You love him," Momoi said matter-of-factly. "Romantically. And sexually, too, probably."

Aomine felt the air leave his lungs, as if a diabolic little Akashi had somehow sneaked into his respiratory system and started puncturing his organs with teeny-tiny scissors. He felt himself begin to hyperventilate, inwardly at least, the tiny Aomine in him running from tiny Akashi, who was aptly manifested as his terror. But outwardly, his face was as cool and impassive as ever. So he calmly informed Momoi, "I DO NOT!"

"Dai-chan, you're turning red."

"Because you're spewing out embarrassing shit! Why the fuck would I love Tetsu? I like girls, Satsuki!"

"That's funny. You've seen me in a bikini more than once, but didn't do so much as bat an eye."

"…Seriously?! You're concluding that I'm gay just because I don't find my childhood best friend, the same friend who put barnacle-infested rocks and crickets in her mouth back when we were five, attractive?!"

"Wow, that's almost exactly what Tetsu-kun said, which further proves my point."

"I don't like him that way, okay? I don't  _love_  him, that's for sure!"

Momoi let out a long-suffering sigh. "And I thought Midorin was the tsundere. But look at him, he has a boyfriend and everything, which  _you_ can't even get."

"He does? Wait, I don't even give a shit! Look, just leave me alone, Momoi Satsuki!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that." Momoi's voice was syrupy-sweet enough to give him cavities, and he swallowed nervously in the face of his impending doom.

Sure enough, Momoi whipped her hand out of her pocket and showed him her cell phone. And, much to his horror, his own voice began blaring out of the built-in speakers of the thing.

" _Imayoshi-senpai is one creepy motherfucker."_

" _Who the actual fuck would pick Mukkun—I mean, Murasakibara?!"_

And, much to his sheer terror,  _"Yes, I'd leave poor Akashi-kun in the fire. Fuck that guy, he's not even scary. And he's practically Tetsu's height!"_

"Satsuki. Delete those, Satsuki." Blindly, he reached out to snatch the phone.

Momoi ducked, giggling. "Nope! At least, not until you tell Kuroko Tetsuya-kun that you, Aomine Daiki-kun, are in love with him!"

"WHY?!" Ohhh, man, he could already hear the sound of two blades snipping casually.

"Because," Momoi said, her tone completely serious this time, "it's the truth." She looked him directly in the eye. "Isn't it, Dai-chan?"

And then Aomine just fucking  _broke._ "FINE!" he yelled. "I love Tetsu! I love how passionate he is about basketball even though he clearly sucked at first, how he's actually kind of pretty with those dumb, big blue eyes!"

"And what else?!" Momoi yelled back, ever the emotional-diarrhea cheerleader.

Aomine took a deep breath. "I love how he didn't give up on me, not at first, and not till the end, either," he said quietly. "And how he did all that to defeat us, just so he could help me regain my love for basketball. I love…w-well, I love everything about him. I love  _him."_

"Oh, Dai-chan," Momoi whispered. She leaped into his arms and clutched him close. But Aomine wasn't finished.

"And…I'm glad he found a new light," Aomine mumbled. "Because I love how Tetsu can always be happy in basketball, even after what we've done to him. What  _I'd_ done to him. He deserves to be happy, after all that."

They were silent for a minute.

"And I love how he—"

"Aomine-kun."

"Don't interrupt, Tetsu! I—TETSU?!"

Momoi, to her credit, also shrieked and leaped away from their suddenly-there friend. "Tetsu-kun! How long have you been there?"

"Yeah!" Aomine growled. "When the hell did you get in here, idiot?"  _And how much did you hear?_

"I've been standing on the doorway since Aomine-kun was agonizing over what to text me."

Momoi said, "That long?" the same time Aomine yelled, "I wasn't texting you!"

Kuroko smiled at Aomine faintly. "In light of what I have heard, you still think pulling a 'Midorima-kun,' so to speak, is going to help?"

"I'm not—I wasn't—"

"Momoi-san, you are amazing," Kuroko said in all seriousness. "I want you to know that I love you."

Momoi fanned her rapidly-reddening face. "Tetsu-kun!"

"OI!" Aomine shouted. "After all that bullshit I spouted, you're still picking goddamn  _Satsuki_ over—"

"But not in the same manner as I love Aomine-kun," Kuroko continued, before fixing his gaze to Aomine, who promptly shut his gaping mouth. "Aomine-kun, I reciprocate your feelings. I do not know how you somehow ended up believing that I have feelings for Kagami-kun, but the description she has presented fits you far more perfectly than it does Kagami-kun."

"Oi!" Aomine said again, but this time he was blushing. He glared at his friend. "Satsuki, why the fuck didn't you tell me in the first place?"

"You need to work things out on your own," Momoi insisted. "At least, for once!"

"Go out with me," Kuroko instructed, lacing long, tanned fingers with stubby, pale ones. "Let's play basketball and get some milkshakes. And I believe I found one of your gravure books under the bleachers at Seirin, if you want it back. How about it?"

Aomine wordlessly yanked Kuroko by the shoulders and kissed him, lingeringly, on the lips, partially managing to tune out Momoi's squeals and the flash of her cell phone camera.

Aomine sighed. "You're the best, Kuroko Tetsuya."

"A-Aomine-kun!"

"Dai-chan!"

"Satsuki, I also love you and all, but do you mind getting lost while we make out?" Aomine asked politely.

"No," Kuroko said firmly, "we are buying Momoi-san some popsicles. Because she is a great friend."

"Tetsu-kun~!"

"Aw, come on! I waited way too long for this!"

**Author's Note:**

> I actually love Momoi, I don't get why she doesn't get enough credit. She's technically at par with the GoM in terms of skill, although of course not in basketball. She's a freakishly awesome analyst for a high school kid, and I like her relationship with Kuroko.


End file.
